Dresses, weight and grandmothers

I think I'm going to develop a weight complex.

I'm in my cousin's wedding next week. I was a last-minute addition to the ordeal, so I only recently got my dress. And it had to be altered because I couldn't fit a certain region of my body into the top portion of the strapless gown.

And do you know what the alteration ladies told me?

One said, "You've got til Saturday. Just skip a couple of meals and it will fit. Even if it's just water weight it'll be enough."

The other said, "There's no telling how many meals you've eaten since you ordered this dress. Luckily, you only need a little bit of room."

Christ.

The entire time I was being fitted, my mind kept flashing back to my visit to Nashville last week.

I was putting on lotion and my grandmother walked in and noticed my beautiful legs. She stared at me and exclaimed, "My God, Ashley! You and those hips. Those legs are getting big. I don't know what we're going to do about them! It's lucky that you don't have a big, ole' fat stomach or I don't know what we would do."

My goodness.

I have gotten bigger over the past couple of years. But I'm not in college anymore. I guess this is what happens when you start a career and move away from home.

But I don't quite understand why folks keep talking about my weight and insist I'm "lucky."

I guess I should be glad I don't have a "big, ole' fat stomach."

Sigh.